Posts Tagged ‘anger’

Is Road Rage More Than Just Bad Behavior?

November 27th, 2009

Do you tailgate other cars when you want them to go faster? What about showing impatience by flashing your headlights? Do you honk your horn at other cars that seem to be a little slow reacting to a green light?

Watch out. Impulse reactions such as these are warning signs of a clinical disorder called INTERMITTENT EXPLOSIVE DISORDER, or IED. That is right! Road rage is now officially recognized as a form of mental illness.

A recent study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health found evidence of IED in 1 out of 20 Americans surveyed, meaning as many as 15 or 16 million of us are prone to road rage. According to lead author Ronald Kessler, a Harvard professor of health care policy, an awful lot of people in America have IED, a condition characterized by overreaction with explosive anger attacks that are out of proportion to the situation.

A big problem, according to Kessler, is they are not being treated because they do not think they have a problem. They think somebody else has a problem.

Experts worry that the rising trend of IED among teenagers may lead to future mental health problems such as alcoholism, depression, and domestic violence.

Once it is diagnosed, treatment for IED includes antidepressants, anger management, and cognitive behavioral therapy, or treatment based on the fact that feelings and actions are caused by thoughts and not people or events.

Not everybody thinks road rage should be blamed on a mental disorder. According to one survey, 75% think of IED as an excuse to avoid accepting responsibility. Crowded highways, greater urgency, sleep deprivation, added stress, poor driving habits, and more drivers with bad manners are also likely contributing factors to the rising number of road rage incidents.

Whatever the cause, road rage is now a common occurrence, with many incidents ending in violent behavior, destruction, or injury. To avoid potential problems while driving, always be courteous.

Tailgating, changing lanes without signaling, and other aggressive tactics are uncalled for unless you are the one looking for trouble. Avoid confrontation and eye contact with other drivers that may have done you wrong. Take a deep breath, let it go, and move on.

November 23rd, 2009

psychotherapy



ulness Meditation Therapy: An Outline

Peter Strong, PhD, 2009

MMT can be defined as:  the direct application of mindfulness to the present felt-sense of an emotional complex.

DIRECT APPLICATION means that the individual trains to establish and sustain a quality of relationship with the inner experience of an emotion, called the Mindfulness Based Relationship. The quality of the MBR is the key factor that will determine the successful outcome of MMT.

MINDFULNESS describes direct attention and awareness that is best described by the term ENGAGED PRESENCE. When we are mindful, we are fully awake and aware of what is happening as it is happening, without any thinking about the experience or any emotional reaction to the experience. We simply “sit” with the experience and observe it with a keen interest as we might have when listening to a favorite piece of classical music. But mindfulness also has a quality of engagement in which we investigate the structure of the experience. All mindfulness involves moving beyond the superficial and initial appearance of experience and uncovering the finer and more subtle inner structure of experience. When we listen to an orchestra with this sense of rapture and keen interest, we are likely to become aware of individual instruments and gain a new appreciation of the piece of music that exceeds our previous experience. When this kind of mindfulness is developed, then every time we listen to the music we always discover it anew, even though we have heard it a thousand times. This is the kind of attitude and approach to experience that we are attempting to cultivate in our practice of The Path of Mindfulness and MMT.

The term PRESENT FELT SENSE of an emotional complex is the general quality of feeling that surrounds the emotion. An emotion is different than a feeling, because it has form. An emotion is a constellation of thinking, physical sensations, actions and speech. If you think of anger as an example, to be angry requires changes in facial expression, tightening in various muscle groups throughout the body, an increase in heart rate and changes in behavior. These actions are aggregated around a collage of different feelings, beliefs and patterns of thinking. All of these components are part of the emotional reaction we call anger. A feeling does not have form, but is a property in the same way that the color yellow is a property of a lemon. An emotion has a certain felt sense, a certain quality of feeling energy, called vedana. In Buddhist terms, this general undifferentiated feeling energy can be positive, negative or neutral. The negative form is called dukkhavedana and is the feeling sense that accompanies dukkha or emotional suffering and agitation.

What the Buddha discovered over 2500 years ago, is that this very process of listening with mindfulness and opening to the unfolding orchestra of our own experience, including the experience of emotional suffering, or dukkha, creates the right conditions for transformation. All emotional suffering is comprised of psychological feeling energy, vedana that has become locked into specific mental formations, sankharas that take the form of an emotional reaction, a behavioral reaction or even a bodily reaction. Dukkha is a state of psychological instability and the psyche will always move in a direction that leads to the resolution of this instability, if given the freedom to change. This automatic tendency towards resolution, I call Psychological Homeostasis and which corresponds to the same principle of physiological, biochemical and immunological homeostasis that occurs spontaneously in the body. However, the absolutely essential factor required for homeostasis to work in either the body or the mind is FREEDOM: the freedom to move and change in an intelligent direction that leads towards the resolution of instability and the cessation of dukkha. Mindfulness is the perfection of relationship to our experience that brings this essential quality of freedom to dukkha and creates the ideal conditions in which emotional conflict can transform and resolve itself. A therapeutic space opens around the dukkha and the dukkha responds by changing, transforming in a direction that leads towards resolution. We can feel this process transformation as it is occurring by monitoring changes in feeling tone. When transformation leads to resolution there is a felt shift from dukkhavedana to sukhavedana, the more positive form of feeling energy. Eventually, when resolution is complete, the feeling energy changes further to a state of greater stability in which the felt sense is neutral, balanced and in equilibrium and this is called upekkhavedana. This latter quality of feeling is accompanied by a sense of well-being and vitality as energy is released back into the psyche.

The mechanism of transformation and resolution is primarily experiential, which means that changes evolve from the immediate present experience of the emotion, rather than from our views and beliefs about the experience. Of course, mindfulness, or sati is all about being present for our experience as it arises and unfolds in the present moment. The path of experiential transformation and resolution is unique to each person and each session of MMT. Typically, there will be a differentiation of feelings, memories and word-symbols that seem to fit with the feelings that are experienced. Almost all clients will notice some form of experiential imagery that seems to resonate with the felt sense of the experience. The mind thinks in pictures and uses visual representations to organize experience. Many of us are not aware of this internal imagery, but when we focus mindfulness on the felt sense of an emotion we create the right state of awareness and sensitivity in which imagery will arise. Experiential imagery is imagery that arises from our present felt experience, rather than a visualization that we create and it provides an extraordinarily powerful medium for promoting the transformation and resolution of dukkha.

THE PROCESS OF MMT

The first phase of MMT is primarily about learning to recognize reactions as and when they arise and replace ignorance with awareness. This is the first function of mindfulness, the factor of RECOGNITION. Without this most basic first step nothing can change, but with awareness comes the possibility of change. Recognition is the beginning of the transformational process and often this skill alone is sufficient to totally change the whole reactive dynamic between two people.

The next phase of MMT involves changing how we view the reaction and associated emotional energy. This is called REFRAMING and is one of a number of skills that is taught in the psychological science of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and which is another chief modality used in MMT. Normally, (ie when we are unaware) we blindly identify with emotional reactions and literally become the reaction. When a reaction of feeling hurt arises we become the emotional reaction of hurting. Anger arises and we become angry. We say “I am upset,” or “I am angry” because we literally take on the entire identity of the emotion. During reframing, we learn to stop this automatic process of subjective identification and see the reaction as simply an object that is not self, but simply a phenomenon that has arisen in our consciousness due to various causes and conditions. When the reaction of feeling upset arises, we now see it as an object within us, rather like a bubble rising in a pond. The bubble is not the pond, but simply an object that arises within the pond and the emotion is not our self, but simply a small part that arises within our experience. After reframing the emotion, we learn to say, “I notice a feeling of hurting within me” or “I notice anger arising in my mind.” This is a very important step, because it counteracts the habitual tendency to react and opens up a sense of space and choices around the emotion. You cannot relate to something with any sense of presence and engagement if you are gripped by reactivity: reactivity inhibits relationship. Only when you can form a pure and direct relationship with an experience, including emotional suffering, will presence and engagement be possible and without complete presence, nothing can change.

The third phase of MMT, after RECOGNITION and REFRAMING is the most important step of forming a RELATIONSHIP with the internal felt-sense of the emotional reaction. Let us explore this in more detail. Once you have recognized a reaction and made it into an object that you can see and experience, then you begin to see the emotional reaction as an object to be investigated and known in its own right, rather than getting entangled in the storyline of the emotion, which is our usual tendency. The storyline may be very compelling and you may feel very offended or hurt, but indulging in negative, emotionally charged thinking is seldom an effective tool for resolving emotional conflict, internally or externally. This is the first function of mindfulness: learning to recognize a reaction, seeing it as an object and not getting seduced into further reactivity.

The kind of relationship that we cultivate in MMT is called the Mindfulness Based Relationship. This relationship has certain unique qualities. The first and most important quality is non-reactivity. By learning to recognize reactivity, we can stop the tendency to proliferate further reactivity in the form of reactive thinking, or further emotional reactions of aversion and displeasure. The second characteristic of the mindfulness-based relationship is about opening our heart and mind and developing a quality of genuine caring towards the inner pain of our anger or resentment. Instead of turning away, we turn towards our suffering or the suffering of others. This does not mean that we indulge in feeling sorry for ourselves and certainly it does not mean that we indulge in reactive thinking, such as worrying. Rather, we learn to be fully present with our inner felt experience of an emotion with a keen level of attention. The third quality of mindfulness is investigation. We turn towards our pain, we become attentive and then we take this further step and investigate the deeper inner structure of the experience. This has a profound effect on whatever is observed and the observed responds by differentiating into its component parts. What seemed like the solid emotion of anger or resentment, fear or anxiety begins to unfold into a complex interior landscape of subtle feelings and memories and very often, some form of experiential imagery.

This is the fourth phase of MMT: EXPERIENTIAL TRANSFORMATION. The term “experiential” is a very important term in mindfulness work and MMT and has a very specific meaning. By “experiential” we mean that we allow experience to unfold in its own way and in its own time without any interference or agenda or beliefs about what should happen. Mindfulness provides the ideal therapeutic space in which experiential unfolding can occur, because of its open and non-judgemental quality. What unfolds is often unexpected and unpredictable, but has a very clear felt meaning and felt sense of being relevant and important. The exact nature of what unfolds is unique to each person and cannot be predicted. There is no attempt made to interpret what arises, only to fully experience it with mindfulness and full presence of mind. The effect of becoming aware of this inner detailed structure that arises naturally as we focus mindfully on an emotion is highly transformational. Often, beneath anger there is sadness and beneath resentment there is fear. These more subtle feelings may give rise to further feelings and experience. During the process of transformation, emotions literally dissolve into many small parts, which can be more readily digested and re-integrated by the psyche and our innate intelligence into something more stable.

Besides the differentiation of feelings and associated memories, people will frequently encounter some form of experiential imagery. It may be in the form of a memory image, a picture from the past. Experiential imagery often takes on a more abstract form of shifting colors and shapes.  Whatever form the imagery takes, the approach is always to “sit” with the present experience and felt sense associated with the imagery and allow it to unfold and change in its own unique way. One person focusing on anger first notices a red color, which takes on the form of a hard, rough rock. With continued mindfulness, the rock begins to change shape and color and dissolves into a pile of white sand. This is not visualization, because there was no deliberate effort to create the imagery; they arose experientially. The process of unfolding and transformation of experiential imagery is one of the most powerful events that can occur during MMT and is one of the most effective means of producing change at the deepest level of our emotional suffering. How this works is not well understood, but it is generally agreed that the mind thinks in pictures and organizes memory and particularly the affective dimension of memory through visual imagery. Why the anger took on the form of a red colored rock is interesting and of course red is often associated with anger, as is hardness. Why it changed into white sand is also interesting and similarly we can make interpretations of what it means: white sand symbolizes tranquility and fluidity. However, interpretation is not the purpose of MMT; what is important is the full conscious experience of this process of change in the inner structure of our experience. It is this conscious awareness of the process that is transformational, not an understanding of the contents that arise.

The final step of MMT is RESOLUTION. Resolution is said to have occurred when the emotional energy that powers a pattern of emotional reactivity has dissipated and returned to the psyche, providing energy for new and more positive responses. Resolution is the state of equilibrium, accompanied by a felt sense of uppekhavedana, which although neutral can lead to very euphoric feelings that can be simply described as the taste of freedom. Any form of emotional suffering, or dukkha, as it is called in Buddhism, represents a state of instability and conflict in the psyche. The psyche hates instability and will always try to resolve dukkha if given the freedom to change. Mindfulness provides the therapeutic space and freedom in which transformation and resolution can occur. The guiding principle throughout MMT and the process of transformation and eventual resolution of emotional pain is called satipanna, which means the “wisdom-intelligence that arises with mindfulness.” This is our innate intelligence that we all possess and which is unique to each moment of experience. Just as water seems to have an innate intelligence in its relentless journey to be united with the ocean, so the psyche has an innate intelligence that will always move towards the resolution of dukkha in all its forms. Mindfulness provides the conditions of freedom and openness in which satipanna will naturally direct and guide all the subtle changes at the experiential level that lead to the resolution of dukkha. This is also described in Buddhism as the awakening or living real-time insight into the Four Noble Truths: Awakening to dukkha, the cause of dukkha, the state of non-dukkha and The Path of Mindfulness that leads to the resolution of dukkha. We start with recognizing dukkha, we form a relationship with the dukkha with mindfulness and we allow the dukkha to unfold, change and transform itself in the direction that leads to its cessation. This direction is literally encoded in the internal structure of the state of instability of dukkha in just the same way that the path that water will take is encoded in the very process of creating instability when we pour water on the top of a hill. The direction of change is always towards greater and ultimately final and absolute stability. This applies to dukkha just as much as to the water trapped on top of a hill. Given time and the freedom to change, that water will return to the ocean and the psyche will resolve dukkha and reach a place of stability.

Peter Strong, PhD is a scientist and Buddhist psychotherapist who specializes in the study of mindfulness and its application in Mindfulness Meditation Therapy. He teaches mindfulness meditation (vipassana) and works with individuals and couples using Mindfulness Meditation Therapy for resolving difficult emotional problems, including anxiety, depression, phobias, grief and trauma and the management of anger and stress. Besides face-to-face work, Peter also works with individuals and couples online via email and web conferencing. Visit http://www.mindfulnessmeditationtherapy.com

Email enquiries welcome.

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STRESS MANAGEMENT WITH MINDFULNESS MEDITATION THERAPY

November 22nd, 2009

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Emotional stress is someth ing that we all experience when we have to cope with the many demands and responsibilities of home and work. Stress can be defined as an intense emotional and physiological reaction to a situation or the mental representation of a situation as a memory or anticipation. Chronic stress is produced when stress reactions do not resolve themselves and become habitual. The sustained physiological effects of chronic stress can have a serious effect on the body and lead to an increased risk of disease. The psychological effects of chronic stress produce fatigue, poor concentration and an impaired ability to perform tasks, which leads to more stress. Stress produces a general feeling of helplessness and negativity, both of which reinforce the stress reactions. This produces a lack of vitality, enthusiasm and creativity and many people describe chronic stress as a heavy blackness that covers everything and in its severe form, chronic stress leads to depression. Chronic stress can result in an increased chance of accidents as well as reducing work performance. Chronic stress also reduces our listening and learning skills and this reduces the quality of communication in our personal relationships and family.

It is well recognized that stress reactions are learned and originate from the influence of our own mental outlook and from belief patterns acquired from our parents, family and culture. Stress always contains both an objective component and a subjective component and in most situations, it is the habitual subjective emotional reactivity that generates the emotional tension and physiological characteristics of stress. There is pain and there is suffering. Pain is the objective component that is often inevitable or unavoidable, but suffering is a subjective reaction that we generate and add to the pain. The Buddha described this subjective suffering as dukkha and not surprisingly, mindfulness, which is one of the central teachings of the Buddha, was and continues to be very relevant for working with and resolving emotional stress.

The other major source of stress comes from unresolved traumas that result from physical injury, assault, domestic abuse and violence. In general this kind of trauma-related stress results from experiences and associated emotional reactions that we cannot process, because they are outside of our normal range of experience. These unresolved wounds become repressed and submerge into the subconscious mind where they continue to simmer and generate a generalized anxiety. This is described as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Occasionally, in severe cases of PTSD resulting from war or other intense situations, the stress reactions will erupt as nightmares and flashbacks in which the individual re-lives the trauma.

Whatever the source of the stress reactions, it is important to understand that each reaction has an internal structure in the form of negative thoughts and beliefs and associated emotional energy that gives power to these thoughts. It is often very helpful to examine these negative thoughts and try to change them. This is the approach taken in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Another approach is to change the emotional energy that empowers the thoughts and beliefs, because without this compulsive charge, the beliefs will have no power to generate stress. This is the approach taken in MMT. Through careful attention and investigation of the emotion through mindfulness, we can uncover the internal structure of the emotion and discover what needs to change. As the structure changes, so does the emotion. Resolve this and you will neutralize the stress reactions.

OVERCOMING STRESS REACTIONS: THE FOUR Rs

Stress is generated by habitual emotional reactions to external events and internal beliefs. These patterns of negative thinking can be changed by the application of the four Rs, which are the primary focus of MMT. These are: RECOGNITION, REFRAMING, RELATIONSHIP, RESOLUTION.

RECOGNITION

All habitual emotional reactions rely on two key elements: ignorance and emotional energy. The first task in MMT is to learn to recognize our stress reactions as they arise in stressful situations. We train ourselves to watch very carefully for any impulse to react. This counteracts the automatic and mechanical part of what makes reactions habitual. The maxim of MMT is that all change begins with mindfulness and mindful-recognition is the first and most important step. You know what pushes your buttons. It might be in your personal relationships with your partner or with your children or perhaps with your parents. One of the most important steps you can take on the path of self-transformation is to take the initiative to examine what stressors cause you to react and to learn to recognize your impulse to react. This is very empowering and changes your attitude from being a victim to being a warrior. For most of the time, most of us react out of habit and have no awareness of what is happening while it is happening. We are simply seduced into the same automatic patterns of reactive thinking over and over again. Clearly, the first step is to break this pattern of ignorance and know what is happening as it happens. This is the fundamental first part of mindfulness. Mindfulness means to be present for experience as it is unfolding.

REFRAMING

Now you are learning to recognize anger reactions, disappointment and frustration reactions, fear and anxiety reactions as they arise in real-time. This new awareness can be very transformational by itself by simply making you conscious of what you are doing. It is a truth that what you don’t see is what has the greatest power over you. Awakening to what is happening is therefore the first step to change.

The next step that paves the way for transformi ng the emotional energy that powers stress reactivity is to change your relationship to the emotion. Our usual response is to say I am angry or I am afraid or I am upset and we literally become the emotion. Contrast this to saying I notice anger/fear/upset in me. Now the emotion becomes reduced to an object, not me, that I can relate to with mindfulness. This simple reframing of how we perceive an emotional reaction – as me or as an object that has arisen in me is itself transformational.

RELATIONSHIP

However, what keeps a reaction alive is the associated emotional charge, without which the reaction would have no power to cause stress. MMT teaches us how to form a non-reactive relationship, the Mindfulness Based Relationship, with this underlying emotional energy that compels us to react. This is the RELATIONSHIP phase of MMT.

The mindfulness relationship is very important. This is where we allow ourselves to open our awareness and investigate the emotional energy, which is quite different to our usual reactions of ignorance, avoidance or aversion. We choose to be fully present with the inner feelings behind the stress reactions, rather than getting sucked into the content and story line. Just as in personal relationships, it is the quality of our PRESENCE, our ability to listen with an open mind and heart that is most important. Now we are learning to cultivate this same presence for our inner emotional stress. The nature of the mind is such that if you allow things to change, they inevitably will. If you allow things to change and unfold into this safe spaciousness of the mindfulness-based relationship, things will change in a beneficial direction that will transform and resolve the inner conflict and pain. It is the habitual reactivity that stops this natural healing and as we learn to disengage from the patterns of reactivity we create the right conditions in which emotional tension will resolve itself.

RESOLUTION

Mindfulness creates a therapeutic space that allows the emotion to unfold and undergo transformation. If you give it space it will change. This is one of the great discoveries made by the Buddha, 2500 years ago and which we are rediscovering today. It is not what we do that matters as much as how we relate to our emotional stress. When this relationship is based on the receptivity and openness of mindfulness, then we create the best possible conditions in which emotional tension can resolve itself.

Resolution can be understood as the process in which a stress producing emotion like anger or anxiety or disappointment undergoes a process of unfolding and differentiation. When we investigate anger with mindfulness, we begin to see that the anger is actually an assembly of more subtle content – the inner structure – in the form of feelings, memories, sensations and often some form of inner imagery that pulls all these parts together into the form of an emotion. The anger differentiates into feelings of sadness, emptiness, fear. With intense stress reactions resulting from trauma, we will likely notice vivid inner imagery. It is by uncovering the internal structure of the emotions and associated imagery that change becomes possible and mindfulness provides one of the best ways of cultivating a safe relationship with painful content by teaching you how to stay present and avoid becoming reactive to what you are uncovering.

Through becoming conscious of the inner structure of the emotions that power our stress reactions, the emotional energy will change and resolve. Without this emotional power, there is nothing to sustain the emotional reactions and life-long patterns of stress producing reactivity begin to dissolve, leaving you free from their compulsive grip. Like the petals of a lotus bud that were previously held and constrained so tightly, the mind begins to explore a new freedom with all its possibilities and choices. This is the freedom that the Buddha talked about and that is possible for all of us to discover through the practice of mindfulness. MMT teaches you how to apply mindfulness to resolve your patterns of habitual reactivity so that you can realize your full potential and enjoy your life and relationships to the full.

Peter Strong, PhD is a scientist and Buddhist psychotherapist who specializes in the study of mindfulness and its application in Mindfulness Meditation Therapy. Peter teaches mindfulness meditation (vipassana) and works with individuals and couples using Mindfulness Meditation Therapy for resolving difficult emotional problems including anxiety, depression, phobias, grief and trauma and the management of anger and stress. Besides face-to-face work, Peter also works with individuals and couples online via email and web conferencing. To learn more visit http://www.mindfulnessmeditationtherapy.com/

Email enquiries welcome.

Getting Therapy For Anger Management

November 14th, 2009

Anger management programs offer the individual plenty of information regarding techniques and strategies for dealing with anger. Is there anger management therapy available for those who feel the need to take their treatment a step further? In the early 1970’s, a psychiatrist named Aaron T. Beck, M.D, developed an anger management therapy focusing on problem-solving. This therapy initially called Cognitive Therapy is now also known as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Beck worked with patients for years using his psychiatric knowledge but was burdened to see his patient’s treatment making only slow progress. Beck wanted to use a more intense approach to anger management therapy. Cognitive Therapy is a form of anger management therapy which helps a person to correct or change specific details in their thinking. These details, involving negative feelings, will likely lead to anger and cause behavioral problems. Beck realized that it is during the thinking process, negative thoughts are formed which lead to changes in emotions and behavior. If an individual could be treated at this stage, helping them to change their way of thinking, then they would see changes in their emotions and behavioral pattern. Using strategies and techniques such as relaxation training and assertiveness training, CBT has proven to be a relatively fast method of providing an individual with relief and allowing them to experience freedom through endurance. Cognitive Therapy has proven to be the most effective type of psychological treatment. Its popularity has spread worldwide and is used by many qualified professionals to treat individuals with behavioral difficulties such as anger. Literature about CBT is widely available and there is training in CBT provided for professionals. Many people who suffer with anger-related issues avoid therapy. Some think they don’t need it and others see it as a sign of weakness. The opposite can actually be said of an individual who seeks anger management therapy. They are strong and determined, willing to take whatever measures necessary to make positive changes in their life. When a person gets to the point where they can admit they need anger management therapy, it is essential to find a therapist who makes them feel comfortable. It is important to be able to communicate easily with a therapist since this is the person who will help reshape the individual’s life. Building a trusting relationship with their therapist is vital when an individual is committed to therapy, no matter how long it takes. Being able to share emotions, whether good or bad, is important in anger management therapy. It is through sharing and trusting that a person begins to discover things about themselves. Once these discoveries are revealed, an individual will begin to work on making changes in their thoughts and emotions which will lead to positive changes in their lives. Anger management therapy may seem tough initially but with a trusting therapist, an individual will certainly make progress. This relationship between the individual and their therapist provides a safety zone, a place where they can feel free to disclose their innermost thoughts and inhibitions. Exploring underlying feelings of these thoughts will eventually provide the tools necessary for success. Anger management therapy, either CBT or meeting regularly with a therapist, is definitely beneficial for people striving to work through anger-related issues. Choosing anger management therapy is a big step and requires the support and encouragement from family and friends.